I have been asked to give a talk early next year to an association for women in IT. Long story short, the conversation I had with the organiser lead me to seek a way to support more women find their voice when they find themselves as the only woman in a meeting.
I thought this was a fascinating idea. And yet, upon researching it, I realised it wouldn’t be sufficient to simply talk to women about having more confidence or being more assertive. Something I can certainly do, but I don’t think that’s actually helpful. I think it’s been done to death.
And, what would I do if there happen to be men in the room, I’m automatically dis-including them, which is something I want to avoid.
It’s Not About Gender Equality; It’s About Energy
One of the fundamental flaws I’ve found in my gender and equality research is the concentration on the conversation around one or the other – that is, it’s either for or against men or women. After all these years, still, we’re finding a considerable disparity. I think we’re having the wrong conversation.
It’s not about men or women, it’s about masculinity and femininity as a whole unit.
We have been taught that there is such a thing as feminine energy and masculine energy, when in fact, there is neither. All living beings simply have energy.
Let’s Talk About Gender
As humans, we like to organise ourselves into tidy, convenient boxes with labels that identify us. We have divided our gender on a spectrum between female and male represented by our sexual organs and in turn, decided that we have attributes that are either female or male. Or both. Or neither.
The noun, hermaphrodite, is a name given to beings born with both male and female sexual organs. As an adjective, hermaphrodite becomes hermaphroditic and describes something as having the combination of two opposite qualities, in this context, both male and female attributes.
Now, in coming up with this idea, I thought I was terribly clever. But in fact, it turns out it’s a timeless Kaballah teaching. Derived from this teaching and ten-percented as I always do, is the modern version of hermaphroditic energy. I’ve defined it as:
The gender-specific combination of two opposite energetic qualities
on a spectrum in the same living being.
Think of it like a spectrum or a scale in which your personality traits lie somewhere along the range between predominantly feminine or predominantly masculine. Each of us has the innate capacity for either end of the spectrum depending on the context.
The reality is, each description, attribute, or trait that can be stereotypically assigned to females and/or males does apply to you on a scale of more or less; not, have or don’t have. Think of it like a percentage that increases or decreases depending on your natural inclinations, your environment, the people around you, etc.
How Can I Use My Hermaphroditic Energy?
Remember where this idea came from – When you’re the only woman in a meeting how can you ensure you’re heard?
If we can learn to tip the scales in the opposite direction of what is natural for us to create greater balance in hermaphroditic energy, we are better able to create more equality and even playing field for everyone.
Women can do so by increasing the percentage of masculine attributes they’re exuding. And likewise, if the men in the room with only one female recognise that they need to increase their feminine attributes – it will automatically create a greater balance of collective hermaphroditic energy, which will give space for the woman to speak up and be heard.
Now, as I’ve said, this is a brand new idea. It’s not trialled. It’s not yet backed by science. Beyond what I know about Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Time Line Therapy®, Hypnotherapy and Emotional Intelligence, I haven’t yet worked out specific tools or techniques to answer how men and women will balance their hermaphroditic energy in their daily lives, but I do believe it’s possible.
What Do You Think You Can Do to Balance Your Hermaphroditic Energy
In a recent talk, I conducted a priming experiment to determine if I could prime the audience to experience more of the gender that I primed them with. Turns out, I could, and with astounding results. See the results here.
I’m keen to hear from people who work with energy, gender, equality and self-awareness. I think this idea branches across many modalities so it’d be great to extend my research to what you’re currently working on.
Your EQL Coach,