Nadia had just told Andile that she’d broken up with her boyfriend, paraphrasing, she said, “I’m sad, but I’m not broken. It’s that conversation I had with you where I feel like men are disposable to me.”
As she sweeps her bangs from her forehead, she continues, “And I know that’s a problem that I need to deal with.”
Andile adds, “’cause there’s an expectancy of men to leave you.” He continues, “You expect that and are cool with it ’cause they’ve left me since I was three.”
“I think the day you sit in front of a therapist,” Andile theorises, “I think that’ll be the best cry of your life.”
Matter-of-factly, Nadia declares, “I don’t wanna cry. Please stop telling me about crying. I do not want to cry. That’s actually the main reason I don’t want to do it. No. No, you will not have that weakness from me. You don’t deserve it. “
“Crying is not a weakness,” Andile adds supportively.
“It is a weakness,” she says.
This show is the killer of brain cells, and yet, this show is so far removed from my every day that it becomes an opportunity to learn about a different culture as well. Not just the African cultures, but the cultures of fame and wealth too.
Here’s what I learned about the young and famous few featured in this African reality show.
1. No matter how wealthy you are, you still have problems, like Nadia’s Daddy abandonment issues and how they are now affecting her current relationships.
Which, by the way, is something I can fix without tears or therapy. #justsaying.
2. Wealthy people (at least in this small sample) are like non-wealthy people in that they do not have the requisite skills to communicate their negative emotions in an effective way to ensure they’re understood, which always leads this group into a heckofalotta D.R.A.M.A. just for your viewing (dis)pleasure.
Communicating difficult emotions is not taught, so few people know how to do it.
3. Prestige and status matter only when they matter. Many times, Nigerian actor Annie Macaulay-Idibia, showed herself to be relatable. Dressing down and up, making it clear what was important to her. I learned that money will allow you to look good and take care of yourself, but it won’t buy you self-esteem. You have to have that first.
4. Honesty always wins hearts, even if you need to hurt those hearts a little bit first.
It’s my number one value for a reason: honesty is the only way to have truth-based relationships.
My husband tells a Nigerian proverb, which I’m probably going to murder: “If two friends go into the same house day after day and they always leave smiling at each other, they’re not really friends because they’ve never told each other the truth.”
Have you seen the show? What did you learn???