Why they stop listening the moment you start nagging

Elena* and I are at a local soccer match; she’s a soccer mum like me. Only she’s not a huge fan of the sport and attends just to be seen to support her stepson and her husband, the assistant coach, when she’d rather be literally anywhere else. She looks tired; …

How do you talk to yourself? Self-compassion techniques to be kinder.

I can be kind of brutal. What about you? I was listening to the Ten Percent Happier podcast this morning. Host Dan Harris interviewed meditation teacher, author, and musician Ofosu Jones-Quartey about self-compassion. I particularly appreciated the techniques Ofosu provided for ways to be more compassionate with ourselves. I could …

All conflict is a values misalignment

Ah, conflict, you beauteous bitch, I’m onto you. I see you. At your core, you’re misunderstood. You just have values that aren’t lining up. In conflict, each person, team, department, organisation, or country involved has a set of values that are different from the opposing side. Values are attributes that …

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Methods to Manage Anger

Have you ever watched a pot of water boil? As the flame heats the stainless steel base, tiny pockets of air begin to form, slowly floating to the surface, longing to escape, to breathe, and to be seen and heard. As the heat increases, so does the size of the …

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The Micro-Macro View of Life: How to Manage Life Tax

Have you ever used one of those two-sided mirrors? On one side there is the normal reflection, and on the other is the ultra-zoomed-in, micro, super up-close-and-way-too-personal view of all the pores, hairs, and grossity-gross stuff. In this view, it’s easy to get trapped in the ugly. There is wayyyy …

Other people’s opinions are none of your business

For most of my life, I’ve been told I need to tone myself down, to be less assertive, to be less … something they didn’t like or want to accept about me. My reaction used to be that I would care too much about their opinion of me, it would …

I am Enough

And you are. Enough, that is. You’re more than enough. Right now, just as you are. You are enough. Say it. I am enough. Say it again and again. Out loud. With a clear, determined voice. Print this image and place it on every frequently seen wall and mirror, and …

A Tool to Rewire Your Brain: Anytime I, Experience

Anytime we look upon a magazine cover, – insert any advertising example – what we think and feel about ourselves is being controlled by the ideal this cover portrays. It isn’t ideal. Ever. Take back control of your mind with this tool that rewires your brain on a neurological, unconscious …

How your three brains can unblock your creativity

My friend, Kym, who has inspired this series of posts with her Flower Affirmation cards is the most creative person I know. Correction: She’s one of the most creative people I know. My mother is another with her paintings and sketches. One of my brothers and my father with their …