Ah, conflict, you beauteous bitch, I’m onto you. I see you. At your core, you’re misunderstood. You just have values that aren’t lining up. In conflict, each person, team, department, organisation, or country involved has a set of values that are different from the opposing side. Values are attributes that Read more…
I’m not being racist, but … I think you’re wonderful, but you can occasionally be needy. I’m grateful for all that you’re doing, but I’m wondering if you could do this part again? You don’t hear wonderful; you hear needy. You don’t think I’m grateful at all. You think that Read more…
Do you work with someone that does things that drive you absolutely crazy? They’re a nice person but their actions just aren’t conducive to productive work. Did you know – and thanks to Brené Brown for her Dare to Lead inspiration – that it is actually super unkind to not give that person Read more…
For most of my life, I’ve been told I need to tone myself down, to be less assertive, to be less … something they didn’t like or want to accept about me. My reaction used to be that I would care too much about their opinion of me, it would Read more…
He called me nasty. It wasn’t a mistake, he repeated it several times. My hurt was immediate and evident, I could feel the tears begin to well. I ended the video call promptly with a “can we discuss this later, I need to take a moment?” A go-to tool I Read more…
I believed it to be true, after all, they did that thing and said those words with that tone. It must have been what was intended. But, what proof did I have of their actual intention? So I asked. And as sure as the sky was blue that day I Read more…
I had just come off the stage in LA when the event organiser said, “I thought you would have been better, you seem so confident in person. At least you’re easily forgettable.” ‘Ahh, thank you, and feck you very much,’ I thought & so desperately wanted to say. That D Read more…
If the enemy of accountability is ambiguity, as Patrick Lencioni is quoted as having said, then surely ambiguity is solved with clearly communicated, concisely written, and consistently followed processes and procedures. Is it not? I learned today that if I’m not in a position to make things clear, concise, and consistent, then Read more…
As leaders, we’re challenged to hone in on our effectiveness with the people we lead. Leading requires you to have influence over others. I’d like to think that you’re positively influencing others, but we all know there are people who are in positions of leadership that I personally would not Read more…
In a conversation whose responsibility is it to be understood? The speaker, right? Yes, and, the listener is responsible too. As the speaker, you’re responsible for making sure you’re understood. As the listener, you have a responsibility to ask clarifying questions so you can better understand. And, as the speaker, Read more…