CaronMargareteI am blessed that my mother is a midwife. Perhaps it is because I had a deep trust in her ability to be my birth advocate, or perhaps it was a deep faith in my body’s innate ability to follow the course of the millennia of mothers before me that I decided early in my firstborn’s pregnancy not to learn anything at all about being pregnant or giving birth.
Nothing. At. All.
Much to my mother’s dismay, she had so much wisdom she wanted to impart, and I didn’t feel the need to learn any of it.
“There are things you need to know,” she pleaded.
“No, Mumma, there are things you need to know,” I explained, “and when I need to know them, if I need to know them, then you’ll be able to teach me. Until then, my body knows what she needs to do. She is Mother, and I trust her to know what she needs to do.”
For both of my sons’ births, six years apart, I used my hypnotherapy training and meditation techniques to give birth in hospitals, in baths, and without any medical intervention or pain-relief medication. They were very different experiences.
The firstborn
My firstborn overstayed his welcome in my body by a week, but when he was ready to come, he took no time at all to arrive.
The contractions began quickly and intensely. I felt my water break just as the cool change wind softly danced across my skin, marking the break in the hottest day of summer. I readied my mind and body for the waves of contractions, breathing into each, feeling their pull and push against my stomach and pelvic muscles.
I put myself into a light self-hypnosis trance and visualised the meditation I had been practising for weeks, the same techniques I’ll teach you that connect you to our Mother Earth and Father Moon, their energy flowing through my body, visually directing my son into position and through his birth canal.
With my mother as my midwife/birth advocate, I was nine centimetres dilated before I was taken to the hospital and directed straight into the birthing suite with an awaiting hot bath. The rush of intense heat flooded my body as I immersed myself deep in its water, calming the pain immediately. The trance and visualisation continued with every contraction, breathing into each intense desire to push, guiding my son further and further along. I felt myself completely entranced and relaxed, aware and simultaneously unaware of anything that was happening outside the power of my mind, spirit, and body’s connection with each other.
My ability to maintain a trance was made harder once at the hospital because my birthing plan was not adhered to by a student midwife attending my birth. A strong, clear birth plan, which I can help you to write, conveys your strict instructions for the type of birthing experience you want. After the student midwife continuously brought me out of trance by shining a bright floodlight to check dilation, I required that she leave the room and read my birth plan. My mother also guided her to understand what self-hypnosis is and its importance to a calm, relaxed state of mind for birthing. I hope that the experience taught her how to be more in tune with her mothers for her next deliveries. It is essential to remember it’s your birth – what you say goes!
For the final push, utterly exhausted, I stood vertical to give birth. He was ready to breathe on his own, a mere seven hours after his journey began. My mother readied my husband into position to deliver his firstborn son as I let out a deep, primordial groan, feeling spiritually connected with all mothers who have birthed before me, knowing that we are one and the same Mother. In a rush, he flew into my husband’s awaiting arms, content to stay a little longer in the water, soothed, embraced, and honoured from the second he took his first breath of air.
The second-born
My second-born had different plans. Don’t they all?
He arrived on his due date but decided to take his sweet time coming out – 17-ish hours! I felt the contractions begin mildly at about 5 am; from there, they progressively intensified. Again, I was blessed that my mother was with me. (If you can have a doula or birth advocate with you, I highly recommend it. It takes the pressure off you to make decisions.) I remained at home, in bed, until I was about 8 centimetres dilated.
It was a long day, and honestly, it was not as easy to remain in the hypnotic trance or maintain the meditation’s visualisation. I had many more interruptions to my meditative state with regular visits from my curious and mildly concerned six-year-old, whom I wanted as part of the process as much as possible. Due to COVID-19 lockdowns, he wasn’t allowed to come to the hospital, which saddened me greatly.
I must credit my hospital midwife for her tenacity in fighting the lockdown security guards upon entrance to the hospital who tried to prevent both my husband and mother from being with me during the birth. The way she held her own protected me while I was in my most vulnerable state. The strength of your connection to your hospital midwife all comes down to you, your planning, and communicating your needs. My midwife knew exactly what I needed to work with me, my mother and husband, as well as my self-hypnosis practices.
Once in the bath, it took me a while to reset my mind to focus once again on my meditation visualisation, but once entranced, I could feel the heat of the water envelope my body as it eased me into a deep state of relaxation. Admittedly, it wasn’t the same depth as my firstborn because of how tired I was, which made me wish I had a “me for me” to guide me through it. In hindsight, I would’ve taught my husband what to do and say to me or prepared a hypnotherapy audio to listen to. Lucky for you, that is now part of my approach for you and your partner.
Positioned like an upward-facing crab, I had both hands outstretched on the side of the bath, my back arched up for the final contraction and push. Once again, my mother readied my husband to deliver his son. No one was quite ready for him, though; as the primordial groan gutturally pushed him out of me, he shot across the bath, his embryonic sac still fully intact. As the midwives helped me sit down, they worked with my husband to break the sac and put him on my chest. He didn’t cry out. He just immediately nuzzled into my chest, listening to my heartbeat, where he has loved to snuggle ever since.
Thank you for sharing my journey with me. I hope that you’ll bless me to experience yours with you one day soon.
xx
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