Last Friday, I attended a free seminar by the Speaker’s Institute. Typically, these events spruik and splutter about how brilliant they are but don’t deliver tangible value. In this instance, I was pleasantly mistaken and left with techniques I’ve been able to apply straight away.

What I also saw was the bird’s eye view of the NLP-based sales techniques I’ve been trained in. It reminded me that months ago, I recognised the same techniques being used at the property sales seminar that I attended. I went to that seminar with the intention to sign up to the best program. I went with the intention to learn more about the property industry. To this outcome, I was successful.

At the Speaker’s Institute seminar, however, there was one significant difference. This time I went knowing the results of my Emotional Intelligence EQ-i 2.0 assessment report. Specifically, I have room for improvement in the sub-scale of ‘Impulse Control’.

Under the realm of Decision-making, Impulse Control is your ability to resist or delay an impulse, drive or temptation to act and involves avoiding rash behaviours and decision-making. Like signing up for a property course without appropriate due diligence on my underlying motivations.

By actively working to strengthen my Impulse Control at the Speaker’s seminar, it made me think about the residual feelings I had about last week’s post, Success means I am Wealthy. Something still wasn’t quite right about my procrastination toward working on the property research. I came a long way to understand my ideas around wealth and success, and yet still couldn’t put my finger on the problem.

And then Sam Cawthorn, founder of the Speaker’s Institute, asked us why we wanted to be speakers.

Like a punch in the gut, I realised why I wasn’t motivated to learn about property or the property industry specifically, my primary motivation was money.

That is, in the property course, they teach you ways to make money through property deals. I believe their education is valuable but my underlying motivation was not aligned to my core values of creating impact in people’s lives. I wanted to simply obtain deals to get the money I needed to help me make that impact faster, which is a fundamentally flawed approach.

Money will never be a great enough primary motivator for me because it’s a tool. Motivations require emotional associations but money itself is emotional-less. The meaning we place on money is what creates emotions.

Discovering the primary motivation was money really angered me. I was pissed off because I know this stuff. I coach this stuff and yet, I still got bitten by the Shiny Object-itis Bug. BIG time!

The Shiny Object-itis Bug is an action or thing that is not directly beneficial to your core purpose, direction or aspirations. It acts as a distraction and steers you in the wrong direction. The SOB (the double entendre of that acronym makes me smile) often looks like it’s going to help you, but often it just takes you a while to recognise its skill in taking you where you never wanted to go.

This property course was one hell-of-a-bite square on my backside! This bite was expensive, not only in financial terms (although it’s well worth the investment) but also in lost time and mental resource. I can’t get that back. I just have to chalk it up to a learning experience. {Groan}

At the time, I don’t remember stopping and intentionally questioning or challenging my motivations for signing up for the program. I was there to learn about property deals and options but I never stopped to ask, why do I want to learn about property specifically?

What I didn’t have at my advantage then, that I did last Friday, was the knowledge of my lower-than-average skill in impulse control. The beauty of taking an EQ assessment is that it gave me deeper knowledge about myself and the control to do something about it.

What creates phenomenal motivation for me is learning about emotional intelligence. In answer to Sam’s question, my “why” for wanting to speak had nothing to do with making money, and yet, I learned from him that you can earn considerable coin for being recognised as an authority in your industry. Remember too, my definition of wealthy doesn’t actually require me to be rich in its traditional sense of oodles of cash.

Educating people about their emotional intelligence – specifically showing people how they are not broken nor incapable of change, that they are simply under-resourced gives me chills. That excites me. Making money is an afterthought and will be a bonus.

And so, I’ve decided to stop working on the program. I’m not removing myself from it because I want to stay connected with the organisation. Instead, I’m going to wait until I’m next on maternity leave – no, I’m not yet knocked up – and therefore taking a break from my business. If then, I still find I’m not focused, still procrastinating and not motivated, I will know it’s not for me.

Thanks for keeping me accountable!

Your Coach,