In the back of my mind over the last few days has been wondering why I’m not motivated to aspire towards something truly great and world-changing. I once said I wanted to be the Australian, female Tony Robbins, but that isn’t true.
I don’t want the team or the infrastructure it’ll take to create that kind of thought leadership. I don’t want the sense of permanency to one location. All I’ve ever wanted was to travel, write and get paid for it. And now I can add coaching to that desire. That’s it. I just want to see and experience this marvellous world and its people.
I want to capture my thoughts and share them in books and online. I want to be recognised as having contributed to furthering the study of people and I want to do it quietly and unobtrusively. I’m a naturally introverted and private person. I like my privacy and quietness. I don’t see people unless I want to be seen. Nothing horrifies me more than the idea of having cameras invading my privacy every day. Fame is not for me.
I think I have been wired to want that extreme form of popularity. To be rich and famous is an aspiration we’re taught to want, but I would be deeply depressed to have fame. Rather, I prefer to be recognised for my intellect and the impact I made on individual people’s lives.
To achieve this, I think I need to step away from the perception of who I was in this lifetime, as though I’m already dead and gone. After I’m dead, I will not know what is said about me. I won’t have hindsight. I will not know what legacy I’ve left because it’s not for me to define. I can help design it but it’s not for me to label. I’m looking in the wrong direction. Rather it would be better to work towards my death, achieving better versions of myself as each birthday passes. In this way, I am making each birthday an Improvement Marker and making meaning an integral part of the journey.
I largely do this anyway, but not when it comes to creating a vision. This is often done by forward-projecting a retrospective view. I have really struggled to put together my vision board this year and I think this is why. Having a theme word for the year has always been effective but I cannot say honestly that the boards from previous years, with their colourful images and words, have been effective in helping me achieve any vision or goal I set. It’s a lot of work and it’s something nice to look at but they haven’t done anything to motivate the accomplishment of what I set out to achieve.
Much of this year, I think I’ll be seeking to answer the question: according to whose standard? I hold back writing as much as I am capable of because I want my work to be of value, worth someone’s time, but, am I the person to decide this value? Is it up to me to decide how someone’s time will be spent and if it’s spent on me, that it’ll be judged worthwhile? Instead, is the question, is this valuable to me? Was it worth my time to produce? It feels selfish or self-centered to ask those questions. Again, we’re taught to give for the benefit of others, not to give for the benefit of ourselves. And yet, we always give for our own benefit. There is no such thing as altruism.
My theme word this year is “impact”. My Year of Impact will not be some grandiose thing. It’ll be bite-sized, personalised and experienced on a deeply profound level by doing my work quietly, without actively seeking attention or recognition, just good quality work that impacts people’s lives in the ways they need. My planning is relatively light but it is not without its challenges. I still need to do the work. I still need to help people. I still need to find more people who need my style of coaching. I still need to improve myself. I still need to increase my emotional intelligence and continue to balance my emotional well being.
I’d like this year of impact to be created from the roots of habitualised practice. Stuff that works so I keep doing it. I want to be present as a wife and mother. I want to create space for a second child. The value I want to create is the pleasure in the micro-moments. I want more fun and adventure. Laughter and joy. I want to live near water and feel close to nature. I want to realign my spirituality to what’s relevant to me now.
I want to slow down. I want to be as minimalist as possible.
Starting with my business. Soon enough this website and this business name will die. All of my services will be streamlined, most of the content hereon will be moved to caronmargarete.com. I will undergo a rebrand so I look, feel and provide a consistent, concise and simple message. I will make a decision once and for all about the Your Third Voice podcast, which I love to use for interviewing, learning and sharing but hate producing.
I don’t know how much online engagement beyond blog posts and newsletters I’m going to create. I like my Instagram feed, but Facebook shits me and I cannot see the point of Twitter. All others feel excessively noisy. I also hate the trap of expectation that so-called experts place on you for a continual stream of content. I’m not sure what the value is.
My services are streamlining too. As of November last year, I stopped offering business coaching. I only want to provide emotional intelligence coaching with integrated emotional health therapy. That’s it. Simple. Straight-forward and easy for companies and government departments to buy. I don’t even know at this time if I’ll still define myself as a “Results Coach” because it no longer feels accurate. Yes, I always get great results with my clients, but is that really what I do?
So… it’s time to slow down, minimalise and answer the question: according to whose standard?
Your EQL Coach,